.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
November 16, 2007

I Piss with Laser-Like Accuracy

A Codependent Collegian Guest Editorial
by Chaz Murphy
University of Texas, Austin, Class of 2009

You know, we all have that special something that could be called our God-given talent. Some people are real brainy and good at taking tests, others are exceptional athletes, while there are some folks who are gifted when it comes to helping the needy.

But me, I piss with laser-like accuracy.

I first discovered this ability when I was in junior high. Somewhere around the seventh grade, whenever I had to take a whiz, I would stand a few inches farther back from the urinal than I had the day before. Maybe I did it out of boredom, or to make a game for myself—I can’t exactly remember. Pretty soon, though, I could hit that thing from six feet away.

By high school, dudes would make bets as I drank cup after cup of water at lunch, only to look on in amazement as I sat on the floor near the sinks and nailed the urinal cake dead-on.

I know what you’re thinking—I must have some monster dong, and a urethra so thin and narrow that you couldn’t even get a pencil tip in there. Let me assure you that my equipment is perfectly normal, if perhaps slightly larger than average, and this skill of mine is simply the result from years and years of patience, hard work, and the determination to pee on stuff from super far away.

So if you ever happen to be in the Austin area for some blues and brews, give a holler to ol’ Chaz. I’m performing nightly in the Winston House, about a block away from the dorms. And if you have anything you totally want a bro to piss on, bring that along too.

Labels: ,


# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 7:20 PM
Comments:
Nie photo:D He looks great!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 4:50 AM
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?