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May 29, 2008

Bathroom Blog Gaining Popularity with Shit-Minded Students

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

No Really—It Smells Like a Diaper Full of Indian Food

(Austin, TX) Pandar Omesh always knew his bowels were “ranker than most,” so when this semester’s final exams were followed quickly by hollow boredom, the University of Texas sophomore embraced a life-long dream: Omesh created a blog exclusively dedicated to his ferocious poo.

“Being a first generation Indian-American, my diet largely consists of curry junk my mom makes and carry-out from local pizza joints,” Omesh explained while cutting a prolonged fart. “I crap about three times a day, and the smell is so bad I have to have one of those aromatherapy candles I bought from a mall kiosk steady lit. After hearing my roommate bitch about the stench all semester, the only logical conclusion was to post my brown bombers online.”

And while many would be repulsed at the notion of sharing their personal waste, Omesh has gained a cult following among undergraduates nationwide.

“Straight up, bro, Dino Mirelli showed me a pic of that Indian kid’s shit last week, and it was nuclear waste green with little specks of orange in it,” explained Tim Platt, a junior at Oklahoma State. “I’ve shared that dude’s link with like, a billion people—I had no idea the human ass was capable of technicolor. It might sound lame, but when you really think about stuff like this, it makes you really appreciate the wonder of nature. That, and the fact you can’t actually smell Habeeb’s rank poopage.”

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