.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
October 11, 2007

Geek Flummoxed by Diagnosis of "Jock" Itch

(Austin, TX) Craig Larsen doesn’t get out much, and the junior information systems major says he has “absolutely no athletic ability.”

“So how can I end up with a case of jock itch?” he asked Codependent Collegian reporters. “I mean, if I actually sweated or something I could see it, but I don’t even play Madden Football.”

Larsen believes that someone has purposely infected him with the fungus, which was confirmed during a visit to the UT Student Health Center.

“I don’t know how they pulled it off, but it had to be someone in my dorm,” he said, scratching his groin. “I think it might be [physics classmate Kyle] Massenheim, who’s pissed that my retrofitted, LINUX-powered motherboard outperformed his in a RAM test.”

Ex-girlfriend Tracy Phillips has been ruled out as a possible source of the infection, said Larsen.

“For one, we never actually made out, despite what I told everyone,” he admitted, gesturing toward a wall-sized poster of the young woman. “Besides, Tracy is a saint, and pure as the driven snow. The day that a goddess like Tracy carries a fungal infection is the day I turn celibate. Officially.”

Labels: ,


Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?