.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
May 10, 2007

Post My Fucking Grade, Professor Jorgenson!

Guest editorial by Josh Obelin, Penn State Class of 2009

We took our Geology final last Tuesday, and I know you are a busy person, but could you please - PLEASE - post our fucking grades, Dr. Jorgenson?

I mean, how long does it really take to grade fifty multiple choice tests and put a letter after our names on the university website? It's not like this is 1981, and all you had was a calculator with LED readout.

And since the system is real-time, I think it's pretty crappy that you are waiting until the last possible second to enter our grades. Hell, we even gave you good comments on those stupid evaluation forms - I bubbled in "excellent" for every category, you prick.

So here I sit, ninth straight day, hitting REFRESH every ten minutes, wondering if I passed your goddamned class, while you sit there in your cozy academic home, sipping a latte and taking perverse pleasure in keeping fifty human beings on edge.

And, by the way? I think you should still have to answer emails from us. I have sent you 3-4 emails a day for the past week, and you stopped responding after the first one. And that whole "grades will be in before the university deadline" garbage has to go, too.

Wait a second... DAMMIT! I just hit REFRESH and you STILL haven't posted our grades. I swear to God I'm going to get fifty angry students with pikes, torches, and pitchforks and chase your ass up the bell tower.

Also - can I get a letter of recommendation for the pre-professional program in education? Thanks a lot.

Labels: , ,


Comments: Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?