.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
February 9, 2007

Jerking Off to Anna Nicole Pic Makes Student Feel Like a Necrophiliac

Grossed out student regrets being a fan of the late Anna Nicole Smith (Ann Arbor, MI) University of Michigan sophomore Kevin Miller has been a "lifelong" admirer of late celebrity Anna Nicole Smith, and assembled an impressive collection of erotic photographs of the sex icon.

Miller's passion for using Anna Nicole images as inspiration for his masturbation sessions, though, may soon end.

"I just finished up spanking the plank to the 1993 Playboy issue with Anna Nicole," he told Codependent Collegian reporters. "Then I looked in the mirror, looked down at my hand, and I felt totally sick, like I was a necrophiliac or something."

Miller said that the event was "even more traumatic" after he walked out of the bathroom.

"My roommate totally knew what I had been doing in there, and it was like he read my mind," he said, looking down. "He said: 'You are one sick bastard, dude!' and you know what? He was right."

Miller's relationship with Anna Nicole Smith has taken a twisted pathMiller's relationship with Anna Nicole Smith has taken a bizarre, disturbing path

Given the fact that Miller has invested "almost a thousand dollars" in his Anna Nicole collection, the biology major finds himself at a crossroads.

"Part of me wants to burn the whole fucking pile, purge my hard drive, and scrub myself in the shower for about an hour," he admitted. "But I've grown accustomed to her two-dimensional face and body, and I think a part of me died yesterday, too. When you spend so much time with a person, they become, like, a part of your very skin, and it's impossible to just tear your skin off, although I did give myself a bad chafing down there one crazy weekend with Anna Nicole."

Labels: , ,


# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 10:08 AM
Comments:
This kid is a really disturbed freak!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10:33 AM
 
What do you expect? He's from U of M!!!!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10:34 AM
 
Wrong wrong WRONG
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10:59 AM
 
Hi ggreat reading your blog
# posted by Anonymous Zachary C : 7:46 PM
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?