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February 9, 2006

Students Finds Purchased Notes "Better Than Going To Class"

Left: Multi-tasking student on the links

(Gainesville, FL) Junior business major Mark Mockeridge says that he spends less than "10%" of his scheduled time in class, thanks to purchasing the notes of "this geeky chick" who shares most of his classes.

"I pay her $20 a class, and the quality of her notes is astounding," he said. "The chick is like a human tape recorder."

The extra free time, said Mockeridge, has given him time to work on other pursuits.

"Golf is a given," he said, adding that he has a +2 handicap. "But I have had a lot more time to hang out at the pub and to meet some hot chicks."

The note-taker, Marcy Ophendahl, was put off at first by the payments, but is now saving them for a wedding dress.

"Mark and I have something really special, and I will wait for him to get past his temporary obsession with bar sluts," she said, holding a photo of Mockeridge close to her chest. "We belong together, and nothing will keep us apart, especially that skank whore Mellissa Gibson, who might not return home from a party she said she is going to tonight."

I think I took an anthropology course with that fucker.
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