.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
January 14, 2006

Subcomandante Bob Admits: "I Am The Dalai Lama"


(Toledo, OH) Dispelling rumors circulating around the Internet, enigmatic editor Subcomandante Bob announced his true identity to a crowd of two media personnel.

"It's true," mumbled a recalcirant Bob, staring at his shoes. "I am the leader of the Free Tibet movement, His Holiness the 14th the Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso."

The Dalai Lamas are the manifestations of the Bodhisattva (Buddha) of Compassion, who chose to reincarnate to serve the people. Subcomandante Bob said that his nom de plume was really just a way to "get in touch" with the people.

"Look - this is a really uptight gig," said Lama/Bob. "This way I can meet chicks, get really fucking wasted, and walk around the apartment in my underwear, instead of the stupid Buddhist robe."

Since 1967, His Holiness initiated a series of journeys which have taken him to some 46 nations. His trips frequently place him in Toledo, OH.

"It's just about the last place the Peoples' Secret Police would think to look," Lama/Bob said. "And there are some really good hot dog joints here, unlike the goddamn tofu they gorge me with in Tibet."

Lama/Bob dismissed rumors that he is really a Toledo journalist and historian named Michael Brooks, or a constipated Yazoo MS truck driver named Vern Boggus.

"That four-eyed, chicken-eating, trailer-renting, knuckle-dragging moron is not worthy to lick the Tibetan crust between my toes," he said. "And as for Vern - well, he can handle an 18-wheeler, but his gasp of the Bodhisattvas leaves a lot to be desired."

Comments:
We know who you are, Michael Brooks.

And we are watching you.
 
Look, idiot:

There is no "Subcomandante Bob," any more than there "is" a Ronald McDonald.

These sites take the work from a variety of contributors. You, youself, could contribute to this site.

That is, if you weren't such a blithering moron.
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?