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January 1, 2009

Innovative College Financing Methods

Guest editorial by Paul Oglivie,
financial aid specialist


January is here and that means it's time for all you high school seniors to apply for college financial aid for your freshman year in college. Make sure that you take advantage of the downtime during the holiday break to plan, and you’ll be well on your way to financing your education.

Here are some ideas for helping you finance your college education. Some of these I have personally used, while others have been used by friends of mine, but all have the potential to help you raise cash in this difficult time.

1. Become a whore. Sure, you might get raped, beaten, or catch an STD, but everyone knows that college is about getting as much no-strings-attached sex as possible, so you might as well get paid. And guys? You can suck a dick or take one up the poop chute just as easily as can the ladies, and let's face it: it's a lot more lucrative to extort an extra $50 from a doctor or professor who is worried about people finding out they are gay. Just get drunk, gobble the goo, and rinse with Listerine afterward.

2. Sell dope. Don't act like you never heard of the shit - you could be the go-to connection on campus for Ecstasy, weed, or meth, all the while pulling down $500 to $1000 a week in tax-free earnings, not to mention all the head you can handle from strung-out chicks looking for a quick fix.

3. Run a numbers racket. Listen: college-age men are the number one growth industry in gambling, and there is no reason why you can't be the biggest bookie on your campus. You can run weekly betting sheets on sports year-round, plus you can start your own three-digit lottery. On average bookies clear 50 percent, and if you get big enough, you can hire a couple of high school kids to collect for you.

4. Loan sharking, baby! Now, you need at least a grand to get started, but college students are horrible at balancing their money, and there is no good reason why you can't compete with the payday loan places. Just be willing to harass the shit out of late payers, and befriend a couple of big fuckers for the muscle factor. Hell, most shit-kickers will gladly beat the snot out of some deadbeat for a burger and a beer, especially if they are in roid rage.

Comments:
I have been in search of such interesting Articles, I am on a holiday its good to see that everyone are trying their best to keep up the Spirit by having such great articles posted.

Cheers, Keep it up.

___________________
Susana
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