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April 14, 2008

I'm So Going to Score with this Russian Hottie Who Emailed Me

Guest editorial by Kevin Reese,
Ohio State Class of 2009

Dude, I am waaaay psyched! I don't know how, but some crazy Russian sex bomb is after me like she gots a bad case of de schlong fever, mon.

Check out the email she sent me:
Hi baby my name is anna. i love u boy and i want to meet u plz can u meet me otherwise can u give me ur email id plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz im waitin for ur response. my friends say i am hot, email me for pics and i want to love you hours and hours baby. ciao, anna
I think she must be one of those hotniks over at the International House or something, 'cuz I delivered pizzas there last week. But you can tell that this bitch is ready to go and shit, 'cuz her reply email is even crazier, bro:
LovRboy, i got ur pics and U R SO HOT!!!! i want to CuMs in my pants when i see your sexy pics! send me ur cell and we can cHaT! i cant wait to sucks your HOT ROD!!!!! ciao, anna
Yes, mister, the Kev-o-Matic gonna be grinding some Petersburg Pussy 'fore the week is out, you feel me? I'll bet she's one of those Russian freaky maniac types, the kind who will do anything for a visa and shit.

Maybe she'll let you bring your video camera, and we can make some extra scratch filming her doing ass-to-mouth or something. Either way, there's a-gonna be some nasty doings in the dorm. Pronto!

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