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March 16, 2008

Patriots Fan "Almost Through" Five Stages of Giref

Yauncey's man-crush on Brady makes the loss even more painful

(Boston, MA) After watching his team lose in the Super Bowl to the New York Giants, longtime fan and Boston University sophomore Jared Yauncey fell into the depths of despair.

"It was worse than when my dog Trixie died," he acknowledged.

Seeking professional help for his grief, Yauncey learned about the heralded five stages of grief developed by Swiss psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross.

"Clearly, I was still stuck in the denial phase, not wanting to believe that my beloved Pats could somehow lose to that... that other team," he said, still unable to speak the name of the opposing Giants. "I walked around for weeks with my 'Super Bowl XLII Champion Patriots' T-shirt, unable to come to grips with this tragedy."

Yauncey said that the next two stages - anger and bargaining - passed rather quickly.

"Oh, I wanted to punch Tom Brady in the face for about a week," he admitted. "And I begged, pleaded, and tried evry trick in the book to get God to let the Pats win in a do-over Super Bowl, but it was pretty clear after checking the sports pages every day that He wasn't listening to my grieving negotiations. The heavenly Fucker."

Yauncey added that he is "not quite ready" for Stage Five: Acceptance.

"I'm almost through the depression, which is Stage Four," he said. "But how do you learn to accept what has been stolen from you? I mean, that 18-0 start was etched in stone, like the Ten Commandmnets or something. During the depression phase, you will cry a lot. Crying is normal, and tears are healing. It's important to let yourself cry when you feel like it, even in the middle of a political science lecture or while playing World of Warcraft. Maybe your guild members will get pissed, but you have to be ready to move on to a new life and let the other life remain in the past."

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what r u whining about they have ohter championships tainted but they have them so stop crying

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