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February 16, 2008

History Prof "Mystified" at Overall Ignorance of Class

Left: McNamara struggles with group imbecility

(State College, PA) Penn State University history professor Kevin McNamara knows that his survey-level history students often come in with little prior knowledge of the subject, but the tenured instructor says that his Modern World class may be the "dumbest bunch of inbred feebs" he has yet encountered.

"Look: it's an intro course, so I am not expecting a whole lot, just the occasional nod of recognition, or a the slightest hint of awareness," he mused. "But the whole lot of them look like a bunch of drooling MRDD candidates, complete with the sort of imbecilic stare you might get from a retarded lawnboy or something."

Increasingly aware of the fact that his class possessed little in the way of intellectual awareness, McNamara recently introduced a new pedagogical technique.

"I started giving them patently wrong information, hoping that at least one student might question me," he recalled. "I had Austria-Hungary winning World War I, the Kaiser marrying Lillian Gish, and Woodrow Wilson being kidnapped by Sacco and Vanzetti. But nothing from these unblinking, obtuse cretins - they wrote down every word as though it were Gospel truth."

McNamara said that there is but one positive outcome in the "mass stupidity" exhibited by his class.

"Lecture prep is a fucking breeze," he admitted. "I pretty much just have to make the shit up as I go along, and these simpletons are none the wiser. Hell, thirty years of copious lecture notes serve no greater purpose that lighting a bonfire at the faculty spring mixer. And to think I get paid for this."

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