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February 1, 2008

Dammit - My Distance Learning Class Never Gets a Snow Day

Guest Editorial by
Larry Townshend, SUNY-Buffalo

Well, we got over a foot of snow today here in Buffalo, and every school in the area closed due to the inclement weather.

Every school, that is, except the Distance Learning program here at SUNY-Buffalo. These fuckers wouldn't cancel class no matter how deep the goddamn snow got, and they must think each of us has a fucking sled and a team of Huskies.

I know what you're thinking: "Larry, it's a DL class, dumbass!" The problem is, though, that these cable modems slow way, way down when it snows. I think the heavy weight on the lines or something is to blame.

Not to mention the fact that I left my textbook in the car, so I had to shovel a path just to get my shit for this class. I mean, I am just as likely to slip and fall in my driveway as I would be if I was walking to the bus stop on the corner, right?

And with all these pimply-faced eighth graders out of class today and hogging bandwidth to upload pictures of thmselves on MySpace and Gaia, my connection is slower than a special ed teacher on Quaaludes.

All's I am saying is this: when they make the decision to close schools, they should close ALL motherfucking schools, not just the ones that use the roads. We DL students have our own crosses to bear, and we sure as shit could use a day off once in a while.

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