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December 23, 2007

Creative Writing Prof Endures Holidays Lonely & Unadored

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

Childress Looking Away From You, Profoundly

(Boston, MA)—Robert Childress, famed novelist and professor of creative writing at Emerson College, should be relishing his time away from pesky undergraduates to share the holiday season his wife, two children, and his latest manuscript.

Instead, Childress finds himself “more dejected than a relief pitcher who's blown a big game in the ninth,” as he misses the cowering respect shown him by aspiring young writers in the classroom.

“At Emerson, I’m a big dog, if you know what I mean,” Childress remarked while taking a thoughtful draw on his pipe. “Not everybody around that institution has made the New York Times Review of Books, and I’ve done so twice. And sure, I miss naïve, horny 19-year-olds throwing themselves at me during my office hours,—but what I truly lament is the awed humility students seem to have in my presence because I’ve published some books.”

Childress further explained the sorts of admiration he has been shown in recent semesters.

“Random occurrences happens all the time, like when I had a philosophy student quote an entire page from my first novel and then ask if I believed in God,” Childress explained. “Or when a visiting art lecturer from France painting on homage to my work in her own menstrual fluids. Powerfully composed, I should say. But now, I just shuffle from grocery store to post office and back home again, and none of these Philistines know who I am. Goodness, I can’t wait for the spring term.”

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