.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
October 17, 2007

Kid Rock Reaffirms Status as Talentless Lout

With the release of new LP Rock N Roll Jesus, Detroit musician Kid Rock said that he had but one goal in mind.

"It's no surprise that God shortchanged me in the department of talent, and I looked to Rock N Roll Jesus to cement my reputation as an artist devoid of any measurable skill," said Rock, who was born Robert James Ritchie. "With my lame samples, ill-suited covers, and infantile riffs and chord structures, I have accomplished all that and more. I'm making Vanilla Ice look like Paul freaking McCartney, y'all."

Rock said that some of his recent collaborative work made some industry observers question his reputation as an inept babboon.

"That duet with Sheryl Crow knocked a few people around, didn't it?" he chuckled, referencing the 2003 song "Picture." "But I'm back, y'all, with my utter incompetence and derivative inanity as forgetable as ever."

Rock added that fans need no longer worry about his brief forays into legitimate music.

"I know what my people want - music that even someone with a 32-IQ can drool along with," he said. "The world needs a benchmark for the lowest common denominator, and this talentless lout has reclaimed the crown. Boo-yah!"

Labels: ,


# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 4:50 AM
Comments: Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?