.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
June 2, 2007

Student Call Center Rep Is Self-Described "Hella-Marketer"

(Austin, TX) What began as a part-time summer telemarketing job is quickly evolving into a profitable endeavor for University of Texas junior Chris Pressman.

"I could sell a refrigerator to an Inuit and charge him 50% extra for being so far north," he boasted. "I'm not just good - I'm the King of Hella-marketers."

Pressman said that his favorite type of consumer to hook is a younger, single female.

"They are always lonely, and just want someone to talk to," he chuckled. "I turn on the 'sensitive guy' voice, and before you know it they just signed up for subscriptions to a dozen magazines they will never read. Oh, and my personal cell number I give out? Totally fake, and I'll never call."

Pressman added that he's not above "going gay" to make a sale.

"If I get an obviously gay dude on the phone, I start vamping it up," he laughed. "Gays are cool - they have money, they have taste, and they are suckers for a young guy who says he wants to go down on them. BAM! I've sold thirty three-year hookups to Good Housekeeping that way."

Labels: ,


Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?