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May 30, 2007

Dedicated Shower Urinator Unrepentant: "It All Goes Downstream"

Young man in shower (Sault Ste. Marie, MI) Josh Yardlee, a sophomore living in Lake Superior State's Moloney Hall, has a confession to make.

"Yes, it's true - I piss right in the shower. So what?" he asked Codependent Collegian reporters. "I pay these outrageous dorm fees, on time, so I ought to be entitled to a few liberties."

Yardlee said that the concern expressed by his roommates over his affinity for "tub tinkling" is unfounded.

"Listen - in cases of urinary tract infection, the urine will contain bacteria, but otherwise urine is sterile and nearly odorless when it leaves the body," he asserted. "Urine has also been used as an antiseptic. In times of war, when other antiseptics were unavailable, urine was used on open wounds to kill bacteria. So, [roommates] Kevin and Pete can just bite me."

Raw sewage pipeLeft: Yardlee believes his shower piss should be the least of peoples' septic worries

Yardlee also went on the offensive about "disgusting habits" exhibited by those with whom he dorms.

"As far as Kevin goes, I just have two words: SKID MARKS," he said of the suspicious stains on his roommate's underwear. "And with all the spooge Pete is pumping in the shower with his plank-spanking, he is hardly in a position to criticize me."

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