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March 6, 2007

Stoner Accidentally Watches Three Hours of Parliamentary Debate

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

(Orono, ME)—University of Maine sophomore Tim Foster accidentally viewed an entire afternoon of British parliamentary debate yesterday on C-SPAN after smoking “one ferociously potent” bong-load of Maui Wowie, according to local reports.

And while Foster has two lengthy research papers due next week and an impressive mound of unwashed boxer shorts, he felt his time was well spent.

“Dude, it was like I was on another planet,” remarked Foster in an exclusive interview with the Collegian. “They kept saying shit like, ‘I disagree with the right honorable gentleman from Keswick.’ I swear, those French guys are off the hook.”

Foster’s elder roommate, Marcus Sheridan, was not amused by the situation, however.

“This week it’s Parliament, last week it was figure skating in Turin…that fucker is a waste of life,” Sheridan scoffed. “My parents are picking me up from Spring Break on Sunday. How am I gonna explain why our room reeks like a Phish concert?”

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