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March 27, 2007

New Party Fraternity Joins Michigan State Greeks

A typical POK event brings many casualties

(East Lansing, MI) The MSU Greek Council announced that a new fraternity has been chartered on camous.

POK (Phi Omega Kappa, or alternately "Passed Out Kompletely") is a fraternal organization whose goals are "mostly social" in nature, according to POK president Jason Ditweiler.

"Basically we just want to get shit-faced 24/7," he said. "We don't have much else to say for ourselves. Oh, and we dig chicks, especially chicks with bodacious racks."

Ditweiler said that the group regularly donates to local charities.

"We usually let this homeless guy have our returnables," he said, noting that Michigan has $.05 and $.10 deposits on beer containers. "Sometimes the dude walks out of here with like $30 in beer cans, plus all the leftover beer he can drink."

The group, which has faced opposition from local residents due to its rowdy parties, is attempting to improve its image.

"We are making a concerted effort to require all members and guests to vomit indoors," said Ditweiler, using a scraper to removed some freshly-dried spewage. "That, plus bringing inside anyone who has passed out on the lawn, should keep the neighbors happy."

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