.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
February 18, 2007

Prof Loses Sleep Over Recent Ratemyprofessors.com Posting

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

Hewitt: Hairy and forlorn

(Grand Forks, ND)—University of North Dakota mathematics professor James Hewitt has enjoyed a relatively peaceful start to his spring term: his new students are receptive, the administration is pleased with his progress, and his private research is advancing smoothly.

However, a scathing evaluation posted earlier this week on the website RateMyProfessors.com has been the bane of Hewitt’s existence for several days, and has led him to question his entire academic career.

“You know, I had a great fall semester—out of nearly 60 students, only 3 failed,” Hewitt remarked while rocking gently in his office swivel chair. “So I cannot fucking believe one of those little brats gave me a clarity rating of 1 [on a scale of 5] and wrote that I ‘concocted grades like Merlin cuz he totally doesnt care bout students fo’shizzle.’ I’ve had to drink three fingers of Johnnie Walker every day this week just to get a few hours of shut-eye.”

Hewitt attempted to rationalize the motivation behind this fiercely personal attack.

“Maybe this individual was just confused—my syllabus was too challenging, or they didn’t understand my lectures on Pythagoras, and are now lashing out at me,” Hewitt contemplated while playing an antiquated digital version of solitaire on his laptop. “You and I both know that I only have a few years left in this profession, so my legacy means everything. I only hope someone flags this posting so it goes under review. Otherwise, I might as well move back to Osnabrock and sell tractors with my uncle.”

Labels: , ,

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?