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January 23, 2007

Sophomore Pops Blackhead with 2-3/8" Pustule

(Ann Arbor, MI) University of Michigan engineering student Stephen Bednarik knew that "something special" was going to happen when he woke up this morning.

"It's like the hairs on the back of neck were standing up," he explained. "I could almost sense that I was on the verge of, like, a great discovery or something."

What Bednarik found, though, was a massive blackhead staring at him in the bathroom mirror.

"It started out as one of those painful zits that won't pop," he recalled. "I let it go a couple of weeks, and then this morning something said: 'Pop me.' So I just decided today was the day."

Measuring success, one plugged sebaceous gland at a time

Gathering a pair of tweezers, Bednarik succeeded in applying strategic application of pressure around the blackhead, causing the pustule to release a long stream of foul-smelling material from the pore.

"As I stood there watching this monster crawl from my face, I realized how lucky I am to be alive," he shuddered. "That... that... thing... was just inches from my brain. Thank God I chose today to blast it into oblivion."

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