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January 25, 2007

Fans Question Death of "Eighth Rolling Stone" Trevor Whittaker

Whittaker in an undated photo

(Columbus) Members of one of the few fan clubs of multi-instrumentalist and sometime Rolling Stones member Trevor Whittaker announced that they believe the enigmatic rocker faked his own death, pointing to "inconsistencies and half-truths" surrounding the circumstances of his alleged death.

"Only two people - other than police, hospital personnel, and the mortician - claim that they actually saw his body," said Kurt Rampton, fan club president. "Plus, press had been told that Whittaker was just "very tired" and went to rest in an unnamed London hospital. But, hello? There are no records of Trevor Whittaker in any London hospital."

Rampton noted that there was a four-day "blackout" that prevented Whittaker's close friends from getting at the principals and witnesses - and even Whittaker's corpse - for a close inspection.

"Even Trevor's parents and in-laws were prevented from seeing his body," said Rampton. "And just how many 'pneumonia' victims go with a closed casket? Answer: not very fucking many, dude."

Rampton and other members of Ohio State's only Trevor Whittaker fan club at a recent Stones convention

Rampton, who possesses all three out-of-print solo albums by Trevor Whittaker, said that Stones guitarist Keith Richards also believes in the death conspiracy.

"Keith was standing in the graveyard and he yelled that the grave was too short," he recalled, adding that he was about 60 yards away since he was not invited to the burial. "If anyone should know how tall Trevor was, it was Keith. I mean, the dude was 6'5", and he's in a grave made for someone about 5'3". If they are going to lie to us, you'd think they could at least get their facts straight."

Richards, contacted by the Codependent Collegian, said that he is "a bit puzzled" by all the peculiarities surrounding the reported death of Trevor Whittaker.

"If there was anyone that would have been likely to stage his own death - you know, getting a fake death certificate and paying off some fucking doctor - it would have been Trev," he said. "And to put a 15-stone bag of sand into the coffin and taking off for Brazil, only a guy like Trevor Whittaker would have been able to pull it off."

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