.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
January 4, 2007

Chemistry TA Secretly Hopes Lab Partners will "Dyke it Out"

Lab partners with benefits By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

Left: McKenzie and Goddard— stroking one another’s beakers?

(Lexington, KY)—The life of a graduate teaching assistant at the University of Kentucky is a thankless, repetitive job, according to Terrance Williams, who splits his time between studying for rigorous seminar courses and helping sophomoric undergraduates complete their lab assignments for Chemistry 101.

This all changed a few short weeks ago, however, when two bodacious co-eds— Alicia McKenzie and Michelle Goddard— started to explicitly flirt with one another in the lab, thus infecting Williams with a recurring fantasy that the pair will “totally dyke out” during his observation time.

“At first I thought: this can’t be happening,” Williams revealed while gingerly rinsing a shoe box full of glass stir-sticks. “I mean, they started to pony-tail each other’s hair and shit like that. I assumed they were in a sorority together, but apparently they met in this class at the beginning of the semester.”

Women holding hands Williams continued to strongly assert that McKenzie and Goddard’s relationship was more than platonic.

“Dude, you wouldn’t believe some of this stuff even if I had it on film,” Williams intoned. “Last week, Alicia reached into Michelle’s pocket to turn her cell phone ringer off — and her hand stayed in there. For 15 minutes. Those two are always closer than a couple of mice in a shot glass."

And despite his fervent self-admonishment, Williams cannot resist the hope that the partners will engage in a “straight-up dyke fest” before the semester ends in December.

“Yesterday they came into Lab 207 during my evening shift,” Williams revealed in a mild whisper. “I mean, I don’t think they even saw me during that first hour —Michelle gave Alicia a fucking backrub because ‘the apron hurt her shoulders.’ Please. These chicks will be naked and finger-blasting on a dissection table before midterms, mark my word.”

Labels: , ,

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?