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January 12, 2007

Academic Probation in Keeping with Campus Rebel's Rogue History

rebel with guitar Keep your change to yourself - Isikoff is no one's bought bitch

(Granville, OH) News that his poor academic performance in the fall semester merited him academic probation status did not deter Denison University film major Brad Isikoff from maintaining his status as campus rebel.

"There are ways of fighting a system without anybody knowing how you're fighting it," he said, drawing a drag off a Marlboro. "And when I say 'fuck the system,' that means I won't work for it, to keep it alive and devouring human beings. It's not the first time people have engaged in economic protest, dude."

Isikoff said that, from a philosophical perspective, it is important to challenge "systemic entropy."

"Anything that gets the professor to keep himself cool while going from idle to almost-full-power as a crazed rabbit will fuck the entire system much sooner, and reduce the stability too," he said. "Private property is a human construct. The notion of property has very nice game theoretic properties. Without property, the division of labor is much harder, because people have no way to be sure that they are being rewarded proportionately to their work. So, fuck it all."

Isikoff's smokes are always stolen, never purchased

Isikoff said the Denison campus is "filled with wannabe anarchists and guerilla war chic."

"I can't listen to their annoying whines without gritting my teeth and stabbing my ears," he grumbled. "Screw their faux rebel image and would-be gangsta cool. You think you're any better than the 12-year-old girl next door with the Sum 41 shirt? They're a joke and so are you. Fuck off."

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