.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
October 14, 2006

Ex-Girlfriend: Owner of Pimp Mobile is Really a Chickenshit

Left: Looks can be deceiving

(Madison, WI) The spotless, pimped-out gold Cadillac of Kevin "K-Unit" Peterson thunders through the normally quiet south side neighborhood, with its R Alpine subwoofer driven by a KCE-510M amp thumping at over 200 decibels.

Chamberlain Avenue resident Theresa Bowers remained unimpressed.

"That little punk-ass ain't nothing without his pimp mobile," she said, shaking her head. "He's driving that to compensate for his shortcomings in other areas, if you know what I mean."

Bowers said that she once caught Peterson in an embarassing situation.

"I come home from work and the lazy bum is watching the movie The Notebook," she said, hands on hips as the Cadillac sped away. "Not only that, he's crying like the last kid picked for kickball. Pathetic. What kind of man even watches crap like that?"

Left: Bowers tells all about K-Unit

Bowers said that "almost everything about" Peterson, a business major at Wisconsin-Madison, is a thinly-veneered lie.

"The tatoos? Henna. His blonde hair? Dyed. His 'posse'? Bunch of poser high school punks," she told reporters. "The first time we made out he was all "I'm gonna rock your world" and 'Oh, baby' this and 'Mama you so fine' that. But he went all limp in bed, blaming the weed the smoked. Couldn't even finish. If you ask me - I think he really likes short-haired men in tank tops. His room is covered with posters of guys like that."

Comments:
Reminds me of my stupid neighbor
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?