.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
September 5, 2006

Change of Heart and College Major Cement a Future of Poverty

Aspiring actress Katie Allen
By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

(Norman, OK)—University of Oklahoma junior Katie Allen has spent the past three years of her live cramming and slaving toward a pre-med degree, much to the detriment of her imaginative spirit.

But with only three semesters left, Allen has decided to switch majors and pursue her life-long dream in theatre, thus assuring her a life of poverty, disenchantment, and parental disappointment.

“My dad always wanted me to be a doctor, and I do have a gift for helping people,” remarked Allen while painting a set piece for an upcoming fall production. “But it struck me this week: why should I, like, keep working so hard when I could be in [the University of Oklahoma’s revival of] Guys and Dolls?”

Guys and Dolls advertLeft: Allen all Dolled up

Mr. Allen did not find his daughter’s logic very persuasive.

“Sixteen grand a year for tuition, and now she wants to hang out with these goth kids and sing show tunes?” barked John Allen while pouring himself a glass of Grey Goose. “I worked overtime for twenty years so she wouldn’t have to follow me into sales. Jesus. She might as well marry that Mexican kid [childhood friend Mark Consuelo], have a zillion brown babies and start banging dope into her arm.”

And while Mrs. Allen did not endorse her husband’s grim pronouncements, she seemed doubtful about her daughter’s artistic abilities.

“I love my Katie, but the girl can’t sing,” lamented a teary-eyed Theresa Allen. “I never told her this, but the whole reason we bought a VCR for the basement playroom was because I couldn’t stand her singing along to the ‘Wizard of Oz.’ Now I have to watch her do community theatre until I die.”

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?