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August 9, 2006

Hottie Totally Denies Ownership of Granny Panties

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

Left: These big, honking granny panties have no declared owner

(Reno, NV)—Claire Kessler, resident fox in Erickson Dormitory at the University of Reno, recently denied her ownership of ‘granny panties,’ even though they were spotted within plain view of her closet hamper.

Study partner and sometimes sex-pal Josh Ritchie offered his perspective in an exclusive interview with the Codependent Collegian.

“I showed up about 15 minutes early for our chemistry cram session, and her room seemed messier than normal,” Ritchie recalled. “She had just gotten out of the shower, so I busied myself with her CD collection. That’s when I spotted this cottony blob. I swear, they were bigger than the mizzen mast on a frigate.”

Left: Kessler wouldn't go there, right?

Kessler’s roommate and confidant Pam Montgomery was not surprised by this discovery, however.

“The only time she wears the good stuff is when that douche bag Josh comes over,” Montgomery vented. “I know he thinks they’re ‘studying,’ but you should see how much time she spends getting ready. Maybe next time she’ll take a minute to hide those things under her bed like the rest of us.” Paris Hilton

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