.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
August 12, 2006

College Student, Homeless Dude Argue Over Poverty

Homeless manLeft: Duncan pleads his case

(Baltimore, MD) Coppin State sophomore Kyle Brennan and local homeless denizen Mitchel "Jay-Jay" Duncan recently got into a "spirited" debate over their respective states of impoverishment.

Duncan said that his situation the last few years has been "pretty bad."

"There are days when I don't even eat, and I haven't seen a doctor in six years," he admitted, rinsing his socks in a downtown fountain. "I share this park bench with pigeons and mosquitos, and people sometimes throw shit at me as they drive down the highway."

Brennan said that "a degree of relativity" needs to be brought into the debate.

"Look, man - I grew up in a wealthy, white, upper class suburb, and my parents bought me everything I asked for," he said, kicking a can down the street with his green Timberlands. "Now I eat Easy Mac and cheap sausage almost every day, and many is the week when the money runs out long before we need to make a beer run. I ask you - is this the American dream?"

Male college student Left: Brennan has now tasted real poverty

Duncan said that many nights he lies in fear of being attacked.

"There's a lot of really messed up people out here, people who would kill you for five bucks," he said. "I have been jumped while sleeping, and stabbed while waiting for a slice of stale bread at the soup kitchen. It's pretty rough."

Not to be outdone, Brennan said that college life is "mondo cutthroat."

"One minute this chick is my best friend, the next she's pulling a 98 on the exam and fucking up the curve for everyone else," he said, shaking his head. "It's dog-eat-dog at Coppin State."

The debate evaluation committee, composed of three of Brennan's roommates, gave the nod to the young business major, citing his "bitchin' rhetoric" and "lack of body odor" as reasons for awarding victory to Brennan.

Comments: Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?