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August 2, 2006

Back-to-School Sales Met with Resentment, Lethargy

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

Ulster: Crippled by malaise

(Washington, D.C.)—August is a curious time in our nation’s capital, with the heat index well over 100 degrees and the climate of conflict in the Middle East no less balmy.

One overlooked reality of this time of year, however, is the surprisingly early manifestation of Back-to-School sales, which delight bargain-savvy parents while upsetting the delicate balance of summer for kids of all ages.

“I don’t start third grade until after Labor Day, and my mom has already bought me a new book bag, four polo shirts, and a battery powered pencil sharpener,” huffed Tyler Ulster, 8, of Alexandria. “It’s like the next three weeks aren’t even summer —they’re the Middle Passage between freedom and oppression.”

Left: Michaels is crusty-faced & inconsolable

Candice Michaels, 3, echoed these lamentations, as she will begin her studies at Bright Horizons Preschool on Independence Avenue later this month.

“Mommy buy new shoes. I want old shoes—I want old shoes,” Michaels croaked, weeping bitterly at the prospect of institutionalized education. Michaels paused before asking rhetorically: “Where daddy sprinkler at school? Where mommy swing?”

As a Mom who appreciates sales I have to chuckle. As for kids being institutionalized for 8+ hours a day and told to sit in there seat and not move, when they are at their prime of life, a time when they are balls of energy, I just become ANGRY! There is something to be positive said for Homeschooling kids - they can run around and learn from the world around them. I also had my 15 year old son read your post. He think shopping is fun, especially at the mall where he can watch all the girls walk by.
Sorry about all the typos. I became to caught up in my emotions.
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