July 16, 2006
Student Struggling to Figure Out "What the Fuck Hezbollah is Doing"
(Washington, DC) Georgetown junior education major Tad Cochrane, trying to make sense of the situation in the Middle East, admitted that the actions of Hezbollah are "pretty jacked up."
"I mean, everyone knows that the Israelis are the most kick-ass military dudes on the planet," he said. "It's like a 6-year-old taking on WWE's Johnny Nitro - no fucking way, man."
Cochrane said that the decision to abduct two Israeli soldiers was "mondo stupid."
"Any idiot can see that Israel is going to throw a world of hurt at Hezbollah," he said, shaking his head. "And one of these days - BAM! Out come the nukes."
Cochrane added that "it's nothing personal" in his assessment of Hezbollah's strategy.
"There's this Lebanese hottie in one of my seminars, so I know I could be down with the brown," he said. "But I think those towels must do something to the brains of the Hezbollah leaders. What other reason could there be for such a bad game plan?"
"I mean, everyone knows that the Israelis are the most kick-ass military dudes on the planet," he said. "It's like a 6-year-old taking on WWE's Johnny Nitro - no fucking way, man."
Cochrane said that the decision to abduct two Israeli soldiers was "mondo stupid."
"Any idiot can see that Israel is going to throw a world of hurt at Hezbollah," he said, shaking his head. "And one of these days - BAM! Out come the nukes."
Cochrane added that "it's nothing personal" in his assessment of Hezbollah's strategy.
"There's this Lebanese hottie in one of my seminars, so I know I could be down with the brown," he said. "But I think those towels must do something to the brains of the Hezbollah leaders. What other reason could there be for such a bad game plan?"