.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
June 29, 2006

Student Embarassed by Former Sexual Interest in Britney Spears

(Los Angeles, CA) News that a six-month pregnant Britney Spears has posed nude for the cover of the August issue of Harper's Bazaar magazine hit USC sophomore Jon Crowley "very, very hard."

The finance major told the Codependent Collegian that he "can't even stand to look at" his collection of Britney pics any longer.

"I first lusted after Britney when I was a freshman in high school," he mused. "But I can't get images of Kevin Federline and Britney's pregnant fat self out of my head when I want to fire off a quick load, you know? I can almost smell the afterbirth, and then I totally lose the moment."

Crowley said that "the beginning of the end" for him was the statue The Birth of Sean Preston, which was unveiled in March 2006. It features Spears giving birth in a provocative pose while hunched on all fours and clutching a bearskin rug.

"I mean, come on - what kind of sick freak can get off looking at that shit?" he asked. "Britney looks like an anemic walrus, and who can keep a stiffy with a snarling bear glaring at your dick?"

Left: Crowley can't go there anymore

On the Harper's Bazaar cover, a dark-haired Spears covers her breasts with her arms and crosses her legs at the knee, as she sits smiling into the camera. Crowley, viewing the photo for the first time, said that he might "lose my breakfast AND lunch" if looked any longer.

"That is some twisted material, brother," he said, shaking his head. "It's like they Photoshopped Britney's head onto my fat sister-in-law's body. I mean, if I was really drunk, I could go there, but it would have to be part of some weird debasement fantasy that involved that camp counselor who snuck into my tent in sixth grade."

man, she looks ROUGH. and that's with airbrushing. yowzers.
I'd hit it. At least she can't get preggo's, right?
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?