.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
June 17, 2006

Professor Enjoying Time Away From You


(Columbus, OH) The summer sun is shining on his freshly mowed lawn, and Ohio State economics professor Scott Calderone thinks life couldn't be better.

"There was a point last term when I was ready to kick every last student in the ass - hard," he said, clenching his fists. "A person can only take so much stupidity before he cracks."

Calderone said that he had to seek professional help to make it through the quarter.

"My doctor gave me a prescription for Valium to calm me down, and some days I absolutely floated to class," he admitted. "Still, even through the benzodiazepine haze, a few of those idiots managed to push my buttons. One imbecile who never attended class actually came to my office a week before the final to ask for 'special consideration' when I graded because he was 'having issues.'"

Chuckling, Calderone added: "I said I'd 'issue' him a fucking F. That, my friend, was a Kodak moment."

Still, the thought that summer is limited in duration sticks in the back of the professor's mind.

"Some days I wake up in a cold sweat, thinking that it's already fall," he said, looking out the window. "Maybe deep down I just enjoy torturing myself, but I find it harder and harder to get the energy to walk in and face a classroom full of mouth-breathing dolts. Fortuna - thou dost toy with me, ye evil vixen."

Comments:
what an asshole - i hope i never get him.
 
Too late. You're already signed up for his MacroEconomics course.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?