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May 15, 2006

Student Swears Summer School Prof is Former Porno Star

Left: Hot for teacher?

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

(Charlottesville, VA)—University of Virginia sophomore Rick Crowley was dreading the prospect of taking summer classes again this year, until he had a startling revelation on his first day: his Biology professor was a former porn actress.

“I can’t believe it,” beamed an ecstatic Crowley. “I couldn’t find a clean shirt this morning, barely had time to grab a seat—in a word, shit wasn’t going my way. And then, outa nowhere, these gorgeous tits walk in wearing a lab coat. It was damn near spiritual.”

An exclusive investigation by the Codependent Collegian has revealed that Dr. Cait Evangelina—formerly known as Misty Bottoms—was recently hired by UV as an adjunct science professor, and completed her PhD in biochemistry last spring.

And while Dr. Evangelina appears to have put her wanton past behind her, it is only a matter of time before other students recognize her dubious past.

“Its gonna be a lot easier paying attention to a lecture when I know this chick starred in ‘A Fistful of Cock’ and ‘Penis Sheath of Razor Blades’,” beamed an energetic Crowley. “Who better to learn biology from than a woman who’s whole body is a petri dish?” Stephen Colbert

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