May 4, 2006
Student Spends Entire Weekend Sabotaging Wikipedia
By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor
(Durham, NH)—University of New Hampshire sophomore Dave Frost was enraptured when he took his last spring final exam last Friday, but was struck by a surprising malaise when the adrenaline from four consecutive days of cramming wore off.
Instead of wallowing in booze and scrambled porno with his compatriots, Frost spent all last weekend fulfilling a dream he had kept silent for months: he spent 48 hours sabotaging articles on the Wikipedia, the internet’s most popular free encyclopedia.
And while Frost realized most of his hilarious revisions would be reversed almost instantaneously by freelance editors with scant personal lives, he hoped some would make it past their intense scrutiny.
“I knew they wouldn’t keep that bit about JFK fucking a platypus at Camp David,” Frost candidly shared. “But how the hell do they know if Superman III was ever released on Laserdisc? Check and mate, sir.”
Frost’s close friends were not only baffled by his tireless dedication to inaccuracy, but also by his endless imagination for tinkering with pop culture trivia.
“The guy is my hero,” beamed John Knowles, Frost’s freshman roommate. “I mean, he switched the order of ‘Misty Mountain Hop’ and ‘Going to California’ on side two of Led Zeppelin IV. Who thinks of that kind of shit? If only he put that energy into studying for organic chemistry, he’d be a Rhodes scholar.” Stephen Colbert