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April 12, 2006

Elvis Impersonator Now Hanging Out by Restrooms

(Toledo, OH) Students at the University of Toledo may find their trips to the restroom a bit less mundane if Wally Stensenbrunner has his way.

The 44-year old Elvis impersonator, who formerly spent hours hanging out at the financial aid office, said that his goal is to "bring a little King" into the lives of UT students.

"Listen, baby - you can never get too much King," purred Stensenbrunner to a passing female. "When you are all through in there, you come out and see me, OK?"

Stensenbrunner believes that some of the real Elvis's legendary charisma rubbed off on him.

"I saw him in 1972 in Vegas with my mom," he recalled. "Mama gave me a handkerchief that the King pulled from his crotch and rubbed it on me. Women have found me irresistible ever since."

A trio of sorority girls, however, seemed to take issue with Stensenbrunner's claims.

"The last time that fat freak saw'90210" was on a scale," said one of the young women. "I bet they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get him through." Proof

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 5:49 PM
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