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March 7, 2006

Student Proclaims Faith Through Bumper Stickers And Clothing

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

(Toledo, OH)—University of Toledo sophomore Jamie Wexler, 19, believes the bumper on his 1989 Toyota Corolla is a sacred canvas, and is the ideal place to broadcast his boundless faith in Jesus Christ.

Wexler holds many of his peers in contempt, who “slather” their automobiles with the insignias of rock bands and political sloganeering rather than “sharing the true path of salvation.”

“I find it really pathetic when people put meaningless crap on their cars, like Black Flag stickers or outdated “Vote Kerry” mementos,” remarked Wexler in an exclusive interview with the Codependent Collegian. “Have you seen the one with Calvin kneeling at the cross? Now that shit is deep.”

Wexler revealed that most of his religious paraphernalia is obtained through the youth ministry at his church, and is not merely limited to stickers; he regularly receives new t-shirts, posters, and key chains that resonate with spiritual themes.

“College is full of posers, who jump on the bandwagon of the latest band or rapper,” Wexler stated. “As Pastor Tom says, we must rise above trends. I’m a billboard for Christ, straight up. Why be known through my good works and charity when an embroidered ball cap can send the same message?”

What a dork - there are millions of those idiots, too.
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