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March 15, 2006

Larry The Cable Guy To Complete Degree In Anthropology

By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor

(Fayetteville, AR)—Southern funnyman ‘Larry the Cable Guy’ will finish his PhD in anthropology this semester at the University of Arkansas after years of heavy touring, binge drinking, and fart jokes.

Larry — whose real name is Daniel Lawrence Whitney — postponed his academic career to embrace his calling as a comedian, but feels that his years of observational humor among America’s redneck subculture will help him land a tenure-track position.

“See, I wear these two britches, the kind with stains and the kind without,” remarked Whitney in an exclusive interview with the Collegian. “Now that I gots my doctorate, I can teach young fellers about Mesopotamia and it don’t matter which britches I wear. Git-R-Done!”

Larry said that one of his favorite research topics is colonial India.

"Maybe that Gandhi feller used to sell beef jerkys and Skoal. We only seen him in pictures as an old sumbitch sitting on a flying carpet like he was fitting to fly around and bless crippled folks," he said. "Who the hell knows what he did early on. For all I know he coulda been selling small electronics out a camel pouch 20 years prior!"

Whitney’s friends are also sharing in his achievement, and echo their fraternal support of his scholarly pursuits.

“Larry’s one hell of a guy, and he’s going to be one hell of a professor,” beamed Jeff Foxworthy, one of Whitney’s close cohorts from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Foxworthy paused a moment before adding: “Y’all remember when I had my own show on ABC in 1995? Goddamn, that was a hoot.”

you seriosly have a PhD as a doctor for real?

Please be real
tell the truth
he doesnt have a PhD as a doctor...he's getting a PhD in anthropology...god your an idiot...the article didnt say anything about being a doctor
A Doctorate = he will be considered a DOCTOR. so that means...yes, larry the cable guy has a doctorate and should be addressed as "Doctor
“Now that I gots my doctorate, I can teach young fellers about Mesopotamia and it don’t matter which britches I wear. Git-R-Done!” -Dan Whitney

This is one of the single most ignorant statements I have ever read.
Ph.D stands for a doctorate in philosophy. So yes any one who has a Ph.D yea is a doctor. Doctor is actually Latin for to teach like when you go to the M.D they teach you how to get better. So when he say I can teach fellers he is right and it's not nice to call people idiots because you might be one.
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Did anybody touch down on the fact that this rude person also spelled you're as "your"?? They shouldn't be calling anyone an idiot.
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