.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}
March 1, 2006

Elvis Impersonator Joins Financial Aid Staff

(Toledo, OH) Students waiting for help with financial aid at the University of Toledo will find their visit to the office a bit less dreary if Wally Stensenbrunner has his way.

The 44-year old Elvis impersonator has taken it upon himself to bring a ray of sunshine into the lives of students.

"Hey baby," purred Stensenbrunner to a perky coed, "how's about you and me...candles...and some nice wine?"

UT officials said that, while Stensenbrunner is not an actual employee, he will be allowed to remain in Rocket Hall, since he is enrolled for classes.

"As long as he doesn't get out of line, we can't do anything about this whack job," said one anonymous employee. "We tried putting a Roofie in his Mountain Dew, but if anything he seemed to get more wired."

Stensenbrunner broke into song when the Codependent Collegian arrived.

"Well it's one for the money, two for the show," he sang, "three to get ready for Pell Grant dough, so don't you, slow up my refund, dude."

Sophomore engineering student Jason Vandergraaf was less than ecstatic to see Stensenbrunner.

"What a dork," he said. "And to think we blazed up some nice Chronic in the parking lot just to come in and see this idiot. That guy is totally wasting my buzz."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 6:32 AM
Comments:
heh heh
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 1:29 PM
 
Post a Comment



<< Home
Copyright 2007, Codependent Collegian ® . Unauthorized duplication prohibited, but feel free to link away. This is a satirical newspaper, and many of these stories are fictional. You have to guess which ones are faked. Codependent Collegian ® uses invented names in its stories, except when public figures are being satirized, or when we post a real story. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. Subcomandante Bob once got jiggy with your mom, and she does things in bed that would shock you, dude. The content of this website is the property of Codependent Collegian ® and its authors, and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. Codependent Collegian ® is not designed for readers under 18 years of age. FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, sustainable development, environmental, community and worker health, democracy, public disclosure, corporate accountability, and social justice issues, mostly because hot college women are also interested in the same issues. Go figure. Anyways, we believe this constitutes a "fair use" of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without fee or payment of any kind to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes, except when you are using it to get laid. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?