Codependent Collegian

(Columbus, OH) OSU sophomores Josh Crittenden and Brad Sterling just finished off "some über bong hits" in the basement of the Rec Center when they noticed a print of Jacques-Louis David's The Emperor Napoleon in His Study at the Tuileries (1812).

"Dude, Napoleon is staring right at us!" exclaimed Crittenden. "Check it out - his fucking eyes follow us while we're walking."

Sterling became, according to Crittenden, "majorly tweaked" at the idea that the painting was staring at the two students.

"He's all like 'Do you think it's some kind of spy cam, with, like, lenses in the eyes of Napoleon or something going back to campus security?'" Crittenden laughed. "And I'm all like 'Yeah, dude, Napoleon totally knows we are stoned.'"

Crittenden said his roommate's paranoia continued through the evening.

"The fucker was looking over his shoulder all night," he said. "Of course I was throwing little wads of paper and shit at Brad to make him jump, because you can't pass up a chance to screw with someone who is tweaking."
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