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February 12, 2006

Professor Secretly Despises Entire Class

(Columbus, OH) Some days are so bad that economics professor Scott Calderone wants to smack each and every one of his students upside the head.

"I swear to God - this class is nothing but imbeciles and drooling feebs," he said of his Microeconomics course. "There is now way that an entire class could be this stupid - this has got to be a joke by the registrar!"

Calderone recounted an exchange with a sophomore after class.

"This blithering moron came up to me and said: 'Ummm...like...are we supposed to be taking notes in here?'" he said. "I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was all I could do to keep from strangling the simp."

Calderone, who admits to having some "anger management issues," insists that the quality of students has steadily declined over the years.

"Even simple terms like "supply" and "demand" are met with either blank stares or questions such as : 'Could you, like, repeat what you just said?'" said Calderone, shaking his head. "I think that the lead paint problem was much more severe than the government was letting on."

Calderone said that he has had to modify both his teaching styles and his testing.

"It's not like I agree with dumbing down the material," he said. "It's just that there is no way I ever want to see any of these fuckers again, so I am making sure that each and every one of them gets at least a C minus."

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