February 2, 2006
By Billy Pilgrim, Codependent Collegian Rogue Editor
(Birmingham, AL)—The brothers of Phi Alpha Chi rang in 2006 with some harrowing news when they learned that their beloved friend Willie Lee Atkins had died in a freak golfing accident.
However, a month after Atkins’ passing, this University of Alabama fraternity has found the perfect way to keep his memory alive: airbrushed T-shirts.
“Willie Lee was the best guy on campus, real honest and friendly,” remarked his roommate Dale Owens. “After he got run over by that golf cart, we had to keep his spirit with us.”
According to Owens, the Chi brothers had over 5,000 shirts made, and are currently selling them at sporting events and other campus activities.
The fraternity vowed to use the profits for a large commemorative celebration, and have scheduled the First Annual Willie Lee Atkins Beer Pong Tournament for April 1st.
“Willie Lee was a man of integrity, and his absence has rocked this close-knit Southern community,” said Physics Professor John Barthe. “By the way, did they invite you reporters to the pong tourney in April? That shit is gonna be off the hook.”