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January 24, 2006

Student Finds Glue Stick "Almost As Good" As Chapstick

(Madison, WI) Junior philosophy major Kari Breckenmeyer made a personal hygiene discovery that she thinks will "revolutionize" the lip care industry.

"I was, like, obsessing because I couldn't find my Chapstick one day, so in desperation I used this Elmer's Glue Stick I had in my book bag," said Breckenmeyer. "I couldn't believe how long the stuff lasted! One application is good for, like, six hours."

An avid skier, Breckenmeyer finds that glue sticks work well on the slopes.

"The thicker glue gives added protection against the cold mountain winds," she said. "Plus I never lose my lift tags anymore, because I adhere them to my lower lip."

Breckenmeyer's boyfriend, though, was less than enthusiastic about her discovery.

"I used to think that she was kind of nutty," said Doug Pettaway. "Now I can see that she is a world-class freak who would likely eat up all my money in therapist bills if we got married. It's probably a good thing this came out now."

what happens when she kisses you? STUCK 4 EVER!
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