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January 30, 2006

Author Frey Also Fabricated Taco Consumption

Left: Lying sack-of-shit James Frey

By Billy Pilgrim, National Nitwit Rogue Editor

(New York, NY)—Days after admitting that several portions of his best-selling memoir “A Million Little Pieces” were fictional, author James Frey offered another stunning confession: he fabricated the results of a 1996 taco-eating contest at a Dennison University alumni fundraiser.

Frey has endured severe public scrutiny in recent weeks since The Smoking Gun reported that significant portions of his autobiography were embellished to maintain his “tough-guy” image.

However, this most recent revelation has, by all accounts, added insult to injury.

“I only ate six of them,” Frey tearfully gushed on yesterday’s episode of Oprah. “My buddy Trent downed eleven, and I lied so I could win a sixer of Bud Light. It was the act of a desperate man—a man with a low tolerance for salsa.”

Frey denied reports that his next book will focus on the taco-scarfing fiasco.

“My past is my past, and I have no desire to go back,” Frey sighed after a thoughtful pause. “Even though I ate like an anorexic bitch, I will never forget how those tortillas scraped against the top of my mouth. I hope readers will forgive my dishonesty and see the redemption that transcends all Tex-Mex cuisine.”

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