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December 20, 2005

Subcomandante Bob Signs Up For Spring Term

(Toledo, OH) The editor of the e-zines National Nitwit, Toledo Tales, and the Codependent Collegian announced today that he is returning to school to finish his MA.

"I look forward to resuming my academic work," he said, setting aside enrollment paperwork. "My failure to finish my Master's in Uzbek Studies has been gnawing at me for over a decade."

The Subcomandante, whose last name is an "unpronounceable sound," said that he believes his Uzbek work will pay off in the near future.

"When the government of Islom Karimov collapses, I will be in the perfect place for diplomatic work," he said, adding that he knows about "50 words" of Uzbek. "Bush will be forced to call on me to keep him apprised of what is happening in Tashkent."

Subcomandante Bob said that his MA will mesh well with his undergraduate work.

"I have a BA in Philosophy with a minor in Illegal Pharmaceuticals," he said. "Just kidding about what I minored in. Sort of."

i majored in illegal pharmaceuticals
Good luck, Bob!
Yay Bob.
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