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November 23, 2005

Students Angered At Butt-Sniffing Horses

(Toledo, OH) Residents of the new Ottawa House West housing facility expressed frustration at what they perceive as obscene equine behavior.

The source of the disagreement is a series of wire horses, located at the north end of Rocket Hall. The nose of one of the horses is suspiciously close to the rear end of another, according to sophomore engineering student Justin Phillipart.

"Every morning I wake up and see that horse taking a huge snort of the other's ass," he said. "My parents are paying top dollar for this nastiness?"

Freshman Belinda Guggenheim agreed.

"The first time I saw those horses, I said: 'Oh...my...God!'" she said. "They won't allow Janet Jackson to flash a one-second breast on TV, but it's OK for horses to be getting all jiggy out in public? Gross!"

Designed by artist Peter Busby, the exhibit - entitled "The Noble Horse" - is a legacy to the area's history as a grazing meadow.

Guggenheim had another name for the artwork.

"I say they should call it 'Filthy Fillies,'" she said. "And to think that the daycare center is nearby!"

Yeah, it's a rerun. Subcomandante Bob is too busy celebrating the biggest bar night of the year to be bothered with things like actually doing some work.

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