November 24, 2005
(East Lansing, MI) The MSU Greek Council announced that a new fraternity has been chartered on camous.
POK (Passed Out Kompletely) is a fraternal organization whose goals are "mostly social" in nature, according to POK president Jason Ditweiler.
"Basically we just want to get shit-faced 24/7," he said. "We don't have much else to say for ourselves."
Ditweiler said that the group regularly donates to local charities.
"We usually let this homeless guy have our returnables," he said, noting that Michigan has $.05 and $.10 deposits on beer containers. "Sometimes the dude walks out of here with like $30 in beer cans."
The group, which has faced opposition from local residents due to its rowdy parties, is attempting to improve its image.
"We are making a concerted effort to require all members and guests to vomit indoors," said Ditweiler, using a scraper to removed some freshly-dried spewage. "That, plus bringing inside anyone who has passed out on the lawn, should keep the neighbors happy."