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November 18, 2005

CIA To Begin Campus Training Corps

Left: Female students next to new CIA campus logo

(Washington, DC) The Central Intelligence Agency announced that it is unveiling a program to develop campus training facilities, much like the Army and its ROTC program.

The Central Intelligence Agency Leadership Initiative for Service (CIALIS) will begin its first hard test in January.

"We are now firm in our commitment to head off the flaccid recruitment of our central office," said Peter Johnson, recruiting director for the CIA. "Our goal is to erect a training and recruitment facility on every US college campus."

Johnson said that the move has been met with near-universal approval.

"Everyone seems to want access to CIALIS," he said. "There seems to be a swelling of support in the middle of the body politic."

One of the best features of the program, said Johnson, is the the ability of potential recruits to hook up with CIA operations.

"It's a good way for newcomers to grab hold of the staff," he said. "Sometimes our members can be a bit stiff and wooden."

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