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September 5, 2005

Students Find New Profit Opportunity

Left: Mills and Nelson in homeless disguise

(Toledo, OH) Faced with a reduction in funds from parents unwilling to finance his 6th year in college, Louie Mills came up with what he called "a really bitchin'" idea: pretend to be homeless.

"At first it was a little weird," he said. "Then the money started rolling in."

Mills found that he could not adequately cover his intersection, so he drafted his roommate Bryce Nelson into the scheme.

"During rush hour we can clear $50 apiece," he said, displaying a fistful of bills. "That's enough for dope, Doritos, AND a case of beer."

There is an added benefit to the underground economy, Mills said.

"When I do my FAFSA next year, I will show zero income," he laughed. "They'll probably give me like $20 K for being so f**king poor."

is this for real?
What a bunch of bastards.
Anything for the Benjamins
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