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September 13, 2005

Aliens Destroy Arlington Midwest Memorial

(Toledo, OH) The Codependent Collegian has learned that a visiting reconnaissance team from the Alpha Centauri star system inadvertantly flattened the Arlington Midwest memorial last week.

"We're awfully sorry about that," said Grujurb Smarnigalb, a spokesbeing for the group. "It looked clear on the radar, but after we landed we saw what we had done."

Smarnigalb said the crew of the ship started to pick the tombstones back up, but were forced to leave when some passing sorority girls started screaming.

"I am sure our apearance must have been startling," he said. "We get a bad rap for those anal probes and all that horseshit."

Smarnigalb hopes to make it up to the community.

"When the invasion begins, we will have a special place in our second heart for Northwest Ohio," he said. "We will put all of you in a better work camp."

We are watching you.
uh oh, first the mall and now this?

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