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August 27, 2005

UT Motorist Group: "Pedestrians Must Go"


Left: UT student "Ginuwine" protests campus pedestrians

(Toledo, OH) Representatives of a pro-motorist group, Tricked Out Car Klub (TOCK), gathered to protest what they call the proliferation of annoying pedestrians on campus.

Sitting behind the wheel of an ultra-mack 1998 E 430 sport with a thumpin' Bose premium audio system, spokesperson "Ginuwine" said that pedestrians pose a threat to motorists in a hurry.

"Yo. So I'm already 10 minutes late for class, and then this motherf***er thinks that those crosswalk lines mean something to me," he said. "Then he gives me this wack "slow down" shit, like I actually care."


Left: Tweaking walkers messing up a dope groove

Ginuwine said that campus police should be ticketing walkers.

"Yeah, boyeeeee. So I'm, like, driving on the winding roads between U-Hall and Snyder memorial, and this bee-otch starts flipping me off," he said, over the pounding def beat. "I'm all like: 'Why you bugging?' and she's all like: 'Get off the sidewalk, freak!' What a wack-ass buttaface."

The group also believes that there should be a new campus parking hierarchy based on automobile quality.

"Lissen up, y'all. Why should those hoopty-driving, class-freaking Jakes get to park in all the yellow spots?" he said of faculty. "They should save those for the big-baller crunks driving da Henny Shiznit, ayeeet?"

Comments:
Fo shizzle, dizzle. Dat joint is off da hizzle.
 
I think that guy almost ran me over last week.
 
BOOM BOOM BOOM

Vroooom
 
I hate pedestrians.
 
your mom hates pedestrians
 
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