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August 2, 2005

UT Bookstore Announces New Buyback Plan


(Toledo, OH) After years of complaints from students, the UT Bookstore unveiled today its “Guaranteed Buck” buyback plan.

Barnes & Noble spokesperson Matt Shackleford said that every book returned at the end of the semester will qualify for a refund of no less than one crisp greenback.

“Students can be assured that they will be able to afford the bus trip back to the crummy little hovel that they call home,” said Shackleford. “Plus, chances are that they might be able to snag a can of Vienna sausages at the Stop-n-Rob with their used book cash.”

Shackleford said that the bookstore will enjoy another added benefit from the plan.

“Our cashiers will not have to waste so much time handing back nickels and dimes,” he said. “Do you know how long it takes to count all that shit out?”

The Codependent Collegian interviewed several students as they left the Bookstore. Junior Carl Stuart seemed pleased with his experience.

“Fuck yeah, me and Tommy raided a bunch of rooms in Greek Village during this massive party,” he said, waving a fist full of dollars. “We got all kinds of books!”

Senior Tim McKinnon said that he was going to invest his rebate - $4 – in a nice lunch.

“I haven’t eaten in a week,” said the emaciated McKinnon. “This may be the last time I chow until they cut my loan check next month, so I better make it count.” He picked out a pizza crust from the trash can as he walked away.

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 9:29 AM
Comments:
The Barnes & IgNoble UT bookstore is the biggest scam in the world. They rip off the students worse than Florida lumber yards before a hurricane.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 6:06 PM
 
They have a dozen students held hostage in the back room who clean up gently used textbooks for resale as new; they are fed crackers and water, and must use shipping boxes for toilets.

True story, man. And you thought slavery ended in 1865!
# posted by Blogger Subcomandante Bob : 8:44 AM
 
The UT bookstore is a total rip-off. Someday someone is going to expose the administration for the money that they took from B&N.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 1:46 PM
 
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